Taking care of Osbeth, I’ve been fairly confined to the house. I need to be available for her call via a bell ringing, at any time . this makes it hard for me to really get into any projects of my own. And needless to say, I get rather stir-crazy and bored with my life ass it is. On top of all that, I am going through a loss of identity since I retired in order to care for Osbeth.
The question has been, how can I retain a sense of self and optimism while being in the service of another (as much as I love her and want to be the one to care for her) and having lost most of my contacts with friends and having lost my identity associated with work? That is why it has been so long since writing or journaling or doing much of anything. Just dealing with the-day-to-day practicalities is all I could handle most of the time.
Yet there were times within that period where I would wake in the middle of the night (Osbeth was sleeping through the nights then) and decide to do something for myself. It was during one of those sleepless nights when I was on the computer that I stumbled onto mention of Pinterst. I read about it, decided it seemed okay, and then signed up for the free connection.
I started to pin pictures onto boards related to subjects I was interested in: gardening (which I have always loved), history (the past fascinates me) , cooking (including gluten-free since Osbeth tested positive for wheat gluten and dairy), art journals (something I always wanted to do), going within (processing and inner quiet is mostly what keeps me going), collage (where I am able to vent my feelings, both positive and negative, through visuals and working with SoulCollage and Kaleidosoul), the cosmos (incredibly beautiful and wondrous), faces (particularly of crones and others whose faces depict Wisdom and Character and diversity around the world), and so on.
It was something that could be done in small bites of time or longer periods. And I delighted in looking at the beautiful nature scenes, art work, whether professional or someone just starting an art journal. People from all over the world could join in sharing what gave them strength and interested them. And many of the pins had information beneath or led to websites that imparted related knowledge. Experts in mythology and history, antiques and astronomy imparted information; recipes for all different diets, whether gluten-free, vegetarian, paleo, vegan, raw, traditional; ideas for organizing or creating; whatever your interest – there is something there for you.
And this led to Project Life, which could also be engaged in as little or as long or as interrupted as required. But even more, it engaged my creative Inner Child and gave me a venue of expressing who I was – now – with all the changes, and with no one to tell me what they thought except myself. My optimism was growing, and was from finding more of myself and allowing the real me to shine forth from within. [And I am typing this on the computer – not writing in the journal] It was finding optimism from within.
Osbeth's View 